What I like to do when I’m feeling a bit under pressure, and I see no immediate favorable outcome.
One of my favorite things when my mind just won’t shut off: A movie or binge TV. I like to turn on a tv show and watch as many episodes as
I can until my eyelids are so heavy that I will absolutely fall asleep without
thinking about the thing that pushed me to binge watching.
I think that a few mission training programs ban any
television watching unless it is news in the community room, or some other
strict rule to help students focus. It isn’t really setting a precedent for
life, it is more like removing a distraction so that the student can become
more fully immersed in the mission training experience. All that is very valid,
and it probably helps people to think about the things that their mind would
try to convince them to run away from.
So, I’m not suggesting that binge TV watching is the best therapy
when the mind is clouded or crowded with too many thoughts, but it is a bit
mind numbing when a certain missionary momma is disappointed with the outcome
of her attempts to wrap up her BA degree…or other un-resolvable conundrums.
I remember the first time that a guest asked why my
husband and I didn’t have a television in our home in Mozambique. He was so
astonished that we could unwind without a TV. What about news and sports for my hubby? We told him that we used our Laptop
for watching DVD’s, and showing the kids films. He didn’t approve of our lack
of a Television. He asked a string of questions to confirm what our reason was for
not having a television in our home. Did we have religious objections? Was
there a rule against a TV in our home, or on the ministry base? Did we not enjoy
watching TV or movies? And his string of questions ended in his emphatic
promise to send my husband a brand new flat screen TV all the way from
California to Central Mozambique. A flat screen TV was a new type of television in 2005, and it literally cost less for him to purchase one in California and send it
with the next person who visited us in Africa.
That was an incredible gift, and a well-used one. It may
seem lavish or even a waste to someone who is more concerned with meeting the
very real and very desperate needs of the people struggling to survive around
us. However, I am convinced that my ability to love on desperately poor
children was improved or prolonged because I was able to completely unwind in
front of silly comedies, Bollywood films, foreign and local TV shows after a
long day of over stimulated emotions so we don't become tired of loving. What a lot of expats and missionaries
might not be aware of is exposure to cultural stress and heightened emotions for
extended periods of time can cause compassion fatigue in many people.
That TV was a lavish gift, and a practical one. It might be
hard to understand life in a foreign country, but sometimes thinking about it
one more time isn’t the best path. Sometimes, being entertained is exactly what
helps us remember that we are normal people and reconnect us to the limits of
our humanity.
Its ok to come up against a boundary and be in a quandary.
It’s ok to be human. It’s ok to be a human who has limits, and even weaknesses.
That’s what makes humanity so wonderful, each of us sees different areas of
need, has different skills and different gifts. It’s our joy to meet one another
and learn from each other’s different strengths. In that way we can build each
other up and be a blessing.
I’m thankful for the blessing you all are as I’m encouraged
to keep writing!
Lots of love,
Missionary Momma Mia
