Still a Student

So, begins my last semester as a BA student. If all goes as planned, I will be graduating from Metro on May 12^th. This is, by no means, the end of my educational pursuits. I’ve recently (Jan. 9th) found the Master’s program of my dreams. Just knowing that the program exists is great. I’m applying for the program, and will soon find out if it is in my future. By soon, I assume that any registration approval will be dependent on my graduation at Metro.

So, I start a process that will require patience and perseverance. What to do if they don’t agree with me that theirs is the perfect program for me? Probably try again. I will cross that bridge if I come to it.

Life continues in Colorado. I have been writing nearly everyday, but it was for a particularly demanding course. This semester may be just as demanding. So, I don't know if I will write more blogs or not. The last semester was too full for me to write. Whereas, I began this semester today, and felt the urge to write flippant things that would remind me how far I've come, and why I'm here. I'm here to move forward with my education. As a mom with two Mozambican sons enrolled in University in Chimoio, I feel it's important for me to be true to my educational dreams and aim higher.

It is interesting, and a little bit uncomfortable, to be a student with children who are students, but I will encourage anyone who wants to be a student to move towards your goal. Find that program or school that rings your bells and go for it. Its probably good to find a few similar programs and keep researching and learning in what ever fashion you amass information and knowledge best.

with lots of love, 

Missionary Momma Mia

Different in Mozambique

School Supply Shopping is Different in Mozambique.
There are other things to like school clothes shopping, and well....you'll see what I mean. It's different!

We finished school supply shopping for our boys on the weekend before their first day back to school. We had to get the final details, like a protractor and ruler, markers and more dry-erase markers for each of our three boys.

It’s so different shopping for three kids in Colorado, instead of shopping for notebooks and pens in bulk in Chimoio. In Chimoio, we know some of the shop owners where we frequently bought materials for the Iris Chimoio ROG children center, missionary house, and annual school materials. We spent time making sure that the notebooks would be enough for the children according to their grade. That seems similar to school supply shopping here. Then there were textbooks to buy, not for first through 6^th grade. But, we did have to purchase books for the kids who had passed primary school grades. That is very different from what I see here. The shopping process is very different too!

I remember walking down dusty roads looking at the books laid out on the sidewalk. Some of the vendors had a stand with books up off of the ground, others laid a tarp on the edge of the street to mark their ‘area’. We tried to get enough books for our kids to have one each if they went to school at different periods.

The public schools in Mozambique have early morning period, late morning period, and afternoon classes for minors. There is also an evening class offered at most schools for adult learners. We requested many times that our children have the same class periods, but sometimes that wasn’t available. Our kids who have morning classes would pass their textbooks over to the kids who have afternoon classes. They shared their textbooks to do homework. It wasn’t because we didn’t want to purchase more textbooks, there were lots of shortages in textbooks. The textbooks were also renewed pretty regularly, so older versions were no longer wanted in the classroom.

I just ordered my university textbook online, it will be shipped for free by the website to arrive on Saturday. There weren’t enough textbooks in my campus bookstore, so I bought it online. I don’t have to wait into the semester until a shipment of textbooks arrives in our city. Its so convenient.

I didn’t have to barter with a vendor, or find a student who took the class last semester to wrangle a deal with in order to secure a copy of the text. Its actually kinda refreshing. I miss the dust sometimes. I really miss the smells in the air, but only some of them.

I really miss the children. Their laughter and smiles as they opened up new backpacks filled with new notebooks, pens, protractors and colored pencils. It was always a highlight of our year gathering backpacks from the market.

We tried to find the least worn, newest looking second hand bags available. We wanted sturdy bags – hoping that some of them would last more than one school year. We would beat off the dust and make an offer to the seller. Some of them were students themselves, or the age of other students. They sold merchandise that comes in large bundles from shipping containers. We buy from them.

This year my hubby and I bought three brand new backpacks for our boys, from a store. We only bought three backpacks and school is just starting over here, while the school year is moving into a final trimester in Mozambique and soon enough exam season before summer (December) holidays.

It’s so different, yet so much the same. Summer break. Fall Start to new school year. Kids anxious to get back to their friends, some kids a little timid about making new friends. They’re happy to have a nice backpack with school materials inside. Their thrilled about new shoes for the new year. Our kids have a few new outfits to wear to school, but no uniform is required. We have to have our kids in Mozambique fitted for a new school uniform every year. If they change schools, we need to buy two new uniforms. The kids wash their shirts every afternoon since they are required to wear a button up shirt with the school emblem on it, a tie, a pair of long pants, or a skirt for the girls. Its routine to hand wash the shirts, and trade them out each day.

Our boys are really happy they don’t have to wear uniforms. And the other thing that is really different about the schools in Colorado and Chimoio is haircuts.

Our youngest son has a Mohawk/mullet. It’s not a problem. I remember getting notes from the schools in Mozambique about hair length. One of our Mozambican sons came home from school with a chunk of his hair cut out by the professor. They are only allowed to have short trimmed hair – no flat tops. His professor turned his flattop into a mess that required short hair all over – acceptable for the school he attended.

It’s different.

I like the liberties we have here with the school. The clothes, haircuts, and available textbooks are something to celebrate. They don’t replace the joy of bulk shopping, market strolling, dust battling, Matewe learning, and a successful barter, but they are worth celebrating. Of course I miss it, I will miss here when I'm gone...

Where ever you find yourself, there is something worth celebrating. It may be really different than somewhere you spent time before or not. Celebrating doesn’t require a list of comparisons and contrasts; but it does require stopping a few moments and recognizing the smooth things, the easy comforts, and the conveniences that give you more time to do the things you really love.

I really love our kiddos enjoying school. I really love our opportunity to gain a broader education in Colorado. I really love that our kiddos in Mozambique are enjoying their holiday as our kids holiday ended. I love that we get to chat with them on facebook, because the contrast of realities isn’t so distant. Our teenagers have cellphones with a facebook app installed on them. They ask us for help with their school work, their issues, or just say, “Hi, I love you.”

I really love that our kiddos are so well cared for, and so loved. I’m so thankful that there are hands to hold them when we are far away. I’m learning a lot more than just textbook material. I’m learning to celebrate the good things and get back to the essential things that I wanted to do in Mozambique, but just didn’t have this kind of internet connection…..I did what was essential there, now I want to write about it.

I’m posting a blog again, and it’s random. I’m just writing to celebrate, to remember, to evaluate, and to encourage. You are more blessed than you know.

Me too.

Lots of love and blessings,

Missionary Momma Mia 

Back to School is upon us...

School starts in a little over a week, and we need to get ready.

Tomorrow we hit their next school year prep books with a strict schedule just like a school week. Play time is a reward for successful learning time. Video games or tv are a timed activity that can’t happen in the same day. We don’t have access to some of their learning websites, but books and review of last year’s homework will do perfectly.

They are all so excited about going back to school that this week of school prep was exciting for them. They are a little bummed that going back to school means less pool time, and less video games, but they really miss school. Yay! We parents are so thrilled to hear that!!!!!

So back to school is more than school shopping for this family. Its time to hit the homework and new grade work books so that their brains are not only mush when the teachers try to get them thinking again.

I know my brain was mush after I finished my summer class, its like a switch that says thinking can turn off and on. I wonder if we are hard wired to take ‘the path of least resistance’ when school breaks means that other people or systems can think for us?

Anyway, it’s back to getting those gear moving, and expanding intelligence horizons for this international family.

Hoping your summer was AMAZING!!, and I would love to hear some fun stuff you did.

We spent days in the mountains, splashed in pools and rode slides in a Water park. Now we got the sillies out, and are ready to get back to full time learning.

Lots of love,

Missionary Momma Mia

Juggling

Oh the things to juggle.

Homework.

Work from home all the time.

---that’s because I have assignments from my class, and I do administrative and Ministry communication work from home.

Then there is more work on my list that is related to keeping my school loans organized.

Then there is non-profit stuff.

And always mom and wife stuff to juggle.

It’s hard for my brain to process, and I have different reminders on different devices.

Oh man, I really need to figure out how to import my reminders to my phone calendar because I am literally doing more work on my phone than my laptop….

There is always something new to learn.

I almost always grumble about changes and updates on my phone or other technology, but I know that in the end the computer and phone will do most of my thinking for me….

Won’t that be fun….my predictive text on my phone can’t seem to handle two languages, so it just deletes random important words that I use all the time. ‘Hi’ gets converted any time it’s in a text or message. I can't wait until my phone thinks more like me, so I will not loath the upgrades....

This is a random blurg….because juggling non uniform items is pretty random.

So anyway. I’m off to organize a bibliography for my final, and I don’t have enough articles or books for the assignment. So I can start it, and finish it tomorrow after heading to the library.

This assignment snuck up on me because I missed the email about it….and the note on the discussion board. I was a little distracted by being with my hubby after spending a little over 40 days on different continents.

The funny thing about homework is that I can pull it off. I wish other things in my life were that defined and easy to pull off. It’s the spontaneous problem solving that kinda twists my juggling skills into a bail of ‘apples’ raining on my head. With any luck, grace, favor from Jesus, or something beautiful those apples will turn into deliciousness (preferably Apple Butter) that I can sell to my friends after I’ve had my fill.

Mush brain writes silliness, I kinda know what I mean though :-) 

Here’s to sillies!

Lots of love,

Missionary Momma Mia  

Proud Momma

My sweet oldest son said the cutest, most genuine compliment while he was talking to Papa God tonight. He said, 

"I just really want to thank you that my brother, Daniel,, is feeling better and that you helped him. Now can he help my other little brother, Benaiah, he is not feeling good, Can you help him because, You are the best helper God. You know just what to do."

So sweet!

Proud Missionary Momma Mia

Unto the Lord Overcomes Doubt

So yeah….preachy as it may be, it’s the truth.

Doing everything as unto the Lord is a perfect tool for overcoming doubt.

I was totally stumped a week ago while trying to do something that I do every day. I write. I write well enough that I barely have to edit my school papers, and I still get an A. I write to our staff and its natural and easy, not perfect but not difficult. It’s usually very easy for me to fill up a page with words and letters.

But last week I was totally stumped. I was an emotional train wreck crying, missing my husband who was hard at work in Africa, and loosing sleep. I had to try to pull myself together, or admit that I wasn’t able to get that letter done properly at the time that I wanted to get it done.

It was basically due right away. I learned that I needed to write a letter and send it asap. I didn’t do well. Usually, I do fine under pressure, but that was pretty bad. So, today as I took a few minutes here and there to work between a family hang out day (special 'during the week' family fun day because our meemaw was in town yesterday and today - and she needs to see her great-grankids!) we still had work to get done though. In between my sister doing haircuts, and my mom and meemaw playing with the baby and boys, my hubby and I snuck away to our computer and phone to connect with our team on the ground in Chimoio. Lots of talking, lots of chatting, and lots of laughing! We love our team! It’s great to have amazing people connecting with us and sharing our vision for the kids at the center, and for our hearts to love the lost and share Jesus.

Well, everything was crossed off my list – except one thing. I really needed to try again on that letter. I hate turning in things late – homework, office work, ministry work, you name it. Turning in something late is uncomfortable. How can we know what the response will be? I don’t. I sent in my first draft maybe ‘on time-ish’ but it was stinky. This was going to be better. I could feel it. My hubby is home, so I have stopped crying….I was crying just because I missed him. Seriously, I love him. Love being with him, ministering with him, raising our kids with him, having team meetings with him, having team conference calls with him, love discussing things with him and ....well you get the picture. It’s my preference that we do life, ministry and fun together.

Even though my hubby was near by, I still felt a bit unsure of how to try again. So I started my Word document with an unappealing attempt that got cut up and deleted . I stopped and typed my prayer. I have always loved writing or typing prayers, but this was a little different than asking for help.

I just wrote:

Dear Jesus,

If I was writing this letter to you, I would know exactly what to write.

Then I wrote the letter. When I was done, I changed the ‘who to’ and took out that first line.

Here's why it worked to overcome my doubt about a response from the person receiving the letter:

When I’m talking to someone or writing to someone who I know is thrilled to read my letter because they are absolutely, passionately in love with me then there is no doubt showing up in my letter. My words come across clear and concise – sometimes concise, I am pretty wordy. I’m less rambley writing to Jesus because I know that he knows. I don't have to try to explain. He already knows. I am more confident because I’m not trying to sell my abilities, skills or vision, I am telling him that I agree with his heart of the matter. His love makes my abilities shine, his love refines my skills. His Holy Spirit gives me vision! It’s not a matter of explaining who I am and what I'm doing, but that I understand why I am doing what I'm doing.

I am not explaining anything to Jesus that he doesn’t already know, I’m telling him that I am excited about his dream for my life. I am happy to tell him what I can see on the path that he put in front of my feet. It’s not about me getting things right and shiny and perfect. It's about me thanking him for being with me as I go forward. It’s changes what I'm doing to be Jesus focused, not me focused. It's ultimately me loving Jesus in other people that overcomes doubt. I don’t have to worry what people will think of me. Those who love Jesus will bear witness with my heart for them and our beautiful savior. Those who don’t yet know Jesus will be drawn closer to him.

Its simple! Loving Jesus helps us love people – all people.  When in doubt, fix your eyes on Jesus. It doesn’t have to take hours and hours, it can take a simple line in a letter that redirects your attention to the lover of your soul. It can take an instant to change a dreaded task into a triumphant victory – no matter the present outcome. By fixing our eyes on Jesus we successfully love the people around us. That is the greatest outcome! Its an eternal one.

Our God is practical! Never wasting a moment. Never losing ground. He is always loving each one of us. He is always gently drawing us closer to him. If we look for Him in every little detail of our lives,  we will always find him. That’s a promise.

Just think - Doing life for Jesus and to Jesus removes doubt that can muddle up normal thinking and processing. It really will change everything in our lives that needs changing. One detail at a time, one thought, prayer, letter, or deed turned towards Jesus is transformed into a loving, kind reflection of Christ to the world around us. As we love Jesus more and more people will keep falling deeper in love with Jesus and his beautiful bride. Lets be that beautiful bride. That’s the whole point! We all want to be desperately and totally loved!

We want to hear Song of Songs poetry written to us about being ravished by our beloved. We want to be lost in the one who calls us his dove. We want to be his favorite.

We are.

No doubt about it! We are totally, completely and perfectly loved! That’s good news worth sharing!

Lots and lots of love,

Missionary Momma Mia

Writing writing everyday but not a blog in sight

I would have thought that title was followed by blank nothingness...this is my beautiful failure.... really I've been so busy writing to my hubby, the Iris Chimoio team, the office, or school everyday that there are so many days I didn't have words left to blog!!! 

Its so funny how many words are in front of me every day, and how often I am writing those words. Yet, there isn’t always anything to compose as a blog. Blogs are so journally, so free feeling in my brain. But so many people have an outline. I don't have an outline or a blog in mind.

Tonight is one of those nights.... I have written some blogs, and felt like I couldn't post them yet. But tonight, I have written a page of reading response to one of my summer classes text books in less than an hour. Did an edit, turned it in online without any concerns. I’m so confident about that, and rightly so. I guess. I have 100 percent on every assignment thus far. I can handle structured writing, but on Friday I even bombed that. grrrr. I mailed a strange email and haven't gotten a reply. must fix it!!!!

I had a weird feeling about writing after some interesting correspondence that left me questioning my ability to write anything. I tend to bounce things off of my hubby when I have a particularly stinky attitude. Anything that I am taking too personally, or not giving the person on the other side of the story the benefit of the doubt, I bounce off him. He is happy to re-direct my focus, and get me to look at the heart of the matter. If I can’t see that, the heart of the person I am about to smush.

No need to smush people. no smushing - leave that to Jesus and Holy Spirit. He's so very good at correcting and convicting us. His perfect kindness leaves us just almost unaware of his subtle ache for holiness. He doesn't pound us with guilt when we're in the wrong.

Deep sigh.

I don’t like my attitude. I hate when I have smushed someone and I didn’t wait and bounce my communication ideas off my hubby. He has a totally different personality than me, so all of my typical 'Jennifer'' assumptions are almost always so far off it should be funny. It would be funny if I didn’t take those particular things so seriously. Man are we different. His personality is far more introverted than mine, and his humor is sooo differnt. Very very diff-er-nt.

I’m kinda laughing at non-funny things like inside jokes, spelling mistakes and isms. Those barely translate in our international relationship. I’m looking at him when he’s laughing at something I think is entirely inappropriate – for example: kids playing with food or something yucky. We are different. He sees the kids having fun, I see the kids personally undoing all my cleaning efforts in order to specifically break mommy’s heart.

Right….that is an exaggeration, but good to think about. Most kids are not forward thinking enough to produce a perfect strategy that completely unhinges their mommies or daddies. It's usually funny little quirks about our personalities that we like to call buttons or triggers, and our little pumpkins or random colleagues have inadvertently discovered them.

I wish my personality had less quirks. Thankfully my hubby really does even me out so that most people think I am a pretty sane, reasonably kind person, who is sometimes even gentle. That is, in fact, the love of my life rubbing off on me. And, I specifically asked God for that when I was a teenager praying for my future husband every night. I had a list of personality traits, character qualities, special dates, and physical attributes I asked for in my future hubby. I literally asked that he would be my help-meet in building up my character where I recognized that I had flaws and shortcomings. He is the answer to my midnight prayers. He is the single most important person in my life, next to Jesus.   

I’m so happy the love of my life is on a  plane coming home. I will wait a couple days to send anymore not urgent emails, so as not so send something that makes me cringe when I go back and read it later.

Oh, Jesus. Help me be more like you. I want to be more sensitive to other people and not assuming their motives, or their hearts don’t have the best in mind for me. I need to be less of a meany. Thank you for helping me. I don’t even get it. I don’t understand how just breathing a prayer helps me see that I am forgiven, helped, loved and created in your image. You love to see me lean deeper into your heart so that I can love more people with different personalities, giftings, experiences and walks of life. You love when I  lay down your job of convicting, and pick up love. I’m not Holy Spirit. When I try to judge people’s motives - Holy Spirit's job - it comes across pretty stinky (poopy duty) in a way that is motivated by condemnation. I just look into Papa’s God heart and know that he not only forgives me when I’m not reflecting him, he empowers me to become more like Him in that moment.

Who does that? Who loves so intensely that correction is a delight?

Only Him. Only Jesus.

Inside his great heart we find peace, love and joy!

Be blessed as you lean deeper into his heart!

Lots of lub,

Missionary Momma Mia

…see, I think that weird mis-spelling is funny. I’m a dork, but a bit of an emotional one. I’m glad he designed my emotions to reflect His, and he loves my quirks so much more than I do. You too!!! He loves your quirks and humor even more than you do! He’s laughing with us so much more than we realize- like a papa who adores his lil’ kiddos. He loves us with lavish love!!

Goodnight