Sweet Restoration

I attempted to sing a song this evening. It was a riot! I just fumbled through too many of the words and missed musical cues and intros. Yet, people’s kindness towards me is inspiring. I love when people are looking for potential and assessing skill instead of harshly criticizing faults.

I may not have presented a perfect rendition of a lovely song, but at least I enjoyed trying. I’m more timid that people may think. Just because I can bust out a tune and make listeners who are music critics think it was spot on, doesn't mean it was true to the sheet music.

I wasn’t spot on tonight! It felt like a beautiful failure though. It was very enjoyable to present a gift back to Papa God after he has blessed me with such a sweet restoration of my soul, and the sweet message of a song that had been lost for me until yesterday. I had the courage to try to sing again, my heart was so tender towards Papa God.

Music isn’t just very important to me, it’s important to my life and my relationship with God. I love to sing. I sing every day. I worship in my car, the shower, and hum while I’m getting groceries. 

When it comes to music, I am pretty picky about how I ‘feel’ while listening to a song. Music that touches my heart sticks with me from the moment is touches my heart. Sometimes my feelings are my own interpretation of the lyrics, and that is why I love when people sing for me or worship over me. The singer’s heart comes through the lyrics and their interpretation of the message is touching. Maybe you don’t get what I mean by that. But as much as I love to sing, I love to listen to someone else sing beautifully and soulfully. Today, I had the opportunity to be the person who sings to bless someone else. That was special. I wonder what will come of it. A fun evening or the start of something new?

To all of my friends who have worshipped with me. I miss your voices, your guitar strums and drum beats. I miss the flute and bass. I haven’t led worship in a small group for such a long time. I haven’t had worship practice for a while. Singing with my family makes me literally pine for more community worship.  I wonder if I could sing with a band again? It will be different from singing to my boys at night, or singing in my car on my drive to class. It is commitment. This time if God brings people into my life who are talented instrumentalists and vocalists, I never want to lose the thrill of hearing them play and sing. I don’t want the work in the music to defeat the soul of the music.

A line from a song comes to mind:

“Speak to me Lord for your child is here listening” a song I heard as a teenager. The prayer is so heartfelt. I feel that prayer tonight.

Thoughtful,

Missionary Momma Mia